It's A Crazy World Out There

Hmmmm

2012-02-07T18:08:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you have to let go of your grievances just a little, to see if its all still worth the blood, sweat and tears; and heartache.

Asshole Week

2012-01-26T16:51:00.002-05:00

I've managed to only raise my voice at one person this week (and it was a stranger)
I'm hoping to get more than 5 hours of sleep. Which would most likely help my current state of crankiness
It's hard to know what is the right choice
I've also managed not to say those gut punching comments swimming in my head. We'll see how long that lasts
I listened to A Strange Arrangement today and I could relate to what he was singing about
Volcanic Sunlight (you can check this off my to do list SW) was also played today. I enjoyed it a lot more than his previous albums

The Whole Truth

2012-01-12T21:50:00.002-05:00

I don't know how to make things better
Words are just that until you back them up with action
The pills and alcohol combo is a constant voice in my head. It's not as loud, but it's still there
I have moments of joy but they need to be more consistent
I'm giving less. Why get mad and stressed when things remain the same
I feel that I should be more upbeat
Most of the time I just lie or I'm not even sure how to respond when I'm asked "how are you". Simple question not so simple answer
I feel tired and older way beyond my years
Tomorrow is Friday. Yay!!!!

Jill Scott - "Hear My Call" (Official Video)

2012-01-11T16:44:00.000-05:00

How I Met Your Father Family Guy parody of how i met your mother

2011-12-28T20:41:00.000-05:00

...............................

2011-12-24T22:37:00.000-05:00

Thank you.

That is all.

Thoughts of the Day

2011-12-22T18:19:00.002-05:00

Still not in the holiday spirit, and to be blunt I just don't give a fuck
Old people need to sit their ass down
I work too hard for my humble earnings
I need a change
I'm learning not to expect as much but it still makes me a little sad that this is so
I wish I had a plane ticket for 2012
I need to make friends with a massage therapist

Let's Talk About

2011-12-15T17:30:00.002-05:00

I have a lot going on in my head. My issue is that I don't know how to start a conversation to unload. I'm almost at my max. I see the signs.

2011-12-09T18:21:00.000-05:00

Monday

2011-11-28T17:36:00.002-05:00

My day started off with seeing a condom on the elevator

I missed my bus by about 5 seconds resulting in me being late for work

The man standing behind me in line for bus tickets was so close that I wanted to turn around and ask him if he planned on jumping on my back

Is Tiger Balm a good solution to the knots in my shoulders?

If you're in customer service, would it not help if you actually had someone behind the counter. Just a thought

I would like to get a wash and set for the two work parties, but that doesn't seem financially feasible

I need a drink *sigh*

But Not Your Alarm

2011-11-26T21:45:00.001-05:00

I miss my snuggle buddy :(

Jam of the Week

2011-11-24T15:59:00.001-05:00

To My BMF

2011-11-15T16:45:00.002-05:00

I've been wanting to write something, but haven't exactly been sure what. This special day deserves mention, plus I know a gift would not be accepted. See I can listen.

You've come a long way from the young student who lacked confidence and at times self esteem. You are now a man who enjoys life and makes it a mission to live life to the fullest; and has filled that life with loving people.

I'm glad to have been around to see these changes. To see you turn into the person that you can be okay with. The person that is your true self, regardless of what others may think or say.

Whether or not I am able to share such important days with you in the future, I wish you nothing but happiness in the years to come.

143.......always

About That

2011-11-09T19:17:00.002-05:00

I'm glad I was the only one in the bathroom at work, while I was throwing up.

I do have some theories but I'm doubtful it will help.

Mr. Goggles got his pink slip. Thanks for trying out for the team thought.

SW is moving this month. I'm happy for her but sad at the same time.

Still looking for job #2 to supplement my low paying job #1 and to hopefully dig myself out of this crater I call my life.

I was a little too interested in the affects of swallowing a whole bottle of Tylenol.

I miss our talks.

This is what consumes my free time.

SW introduced me to the wonderful world of chrome apps/games. I'll see you on Intervention.

I need a massage. Even just my shoulders would be heavenly.

I need someone to cut my dead ends.

Is this year over yet?

This is my song of the week

Foo Fighters - These Days

2011-11-06T17:18:00.000-05:00

So Fucked

2011-10-25T16:34:00.001-04:00

Keeping my fingers crossed......................

2011-10-12T16:57:00.002-04:00

Apparently it is possible for my day/life to suck even more.

2011-09-26T22:08:00.002-04:00

I had a great weekend. Spending time with friends, laughing, and a belly full of meat was exactly what the soul needed. It's the simple things that remind me why I keep going.

What's the difference between being selfish and doing what is best for you?

Past, Present, Future

2011-09-15T01:23:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about the past a lot. Thinking about the choices I've made or didn't make, my up bringing. Basically things that have lead me to this point. There are very few things I would do differently. I've met some good people. Some were nightmares, while others were left behind for a variety of reasons.

I never had many goals when I was younger. Mine were to become a jockey (I watched The Black Stallion) or a baseball player ( even had my own glove). As a teenager my goals were to not be poor like my parents (obviously that hasn't worked out for me), become an alcoholic or marry one. I even thought marriage at 30 wouldn't be too bad. Except no one told me about the complexities of dating. It is hard to meet a non freak, normal, I won't blow up your phone type of guy. Maybe it's just me and what I'm attracting, and fine tuning my red alert sensors.

Presently, I'm facing the truth that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever; or even in the same context. Not sure if I've let go, given up, or just had enough.

The future is any one's guess. I may be here tomorrow, I may not be. I may move somewhere to start fresh, or somewhere that just isn't here.

Sigh

2011-09-05T10:54:00.001-04:00

I wonder if the yellow pages has a service 1---800---cunnilingus.

Just Like the Energizer Bunny

2011-08-31T18:18:00.002-04:00

Things are different, but also the same. Better, but still room for improvement. The one thing that doesn't change is the love.

There's no place like home.

Knowledge

2011-08-23T21:53:00.002-04:00

........"and remember it's just a job, your not your job".

Some Days

2011-08-22T14:13:00.002-04:00

Some days are filled with chores and entertaining the four legged roommate. Some days are spent in bed wanting to test the sharpness against my skin.

I Think

2011-08-13T22:32:00.004-04:00

Quitting isn't always a bad thing.
A true friend can be found in the mirror.
I've lost my listening buddy.
It's been almost a month.
FUCK and meh are fitting words.

why ask why

2011-07-28T02:55:00.003-04:00

Why is it that it's been cooler these last few days but I am constantly hot.
Why can't I sleep even though a few hours ago I felt tired.
Why do my neighbours smoke so much green, that it makes my place smell like I've been hot boxing all night.
Why do I feel as if I have more important things to do than jury summons, when in reality I'm just annoyed about spending a whole day in b*town.
Why are the little things nagging me, when overall I feel nothing.
Why am I always burping lately.

FUCK

2011-07-07T23:43:00.002-04:00

*inhale*

Fuck

Fuackady

Fuck

Fuck

*exhale*

G'nite to all

2011-06-26T20:43:00.000-04:00

Are You?

2011-06-26T17:50:00.002-04:00

That person constantly biting their tongue
That person everyone likes
That person who drinks too much
That person who doesn't demand more from others
That person who is only fuckable when things are shitty
That person everyone hates
That person who smokes too much
That person who stands off to the side
That person who has given up
That person who constantly wears a mask
That person who is left out because your not married with kids
That person who wonders why you get up everyday
That person who picks others up, dusts them off and makes them feel better
That person everyone tells their problems to
That person who smiles, even if you have nothing to smile about

What person are you?

Great Day, Great Company, & Great Food

2011-06-25T17:05:00.002-04:00

My grad ceremony was this week. I'm glad I decided to go. I didn't want to regret not going later. At first I was nervous. I kept thinking what if I fall, or by some mishap I owe the school money and they won't give me my diploma.

While I was sitting listening to the VP give her speech, I got a little choked up. At that moment it hit me. This is a big accomplishment. I did all the hard work and like The Boy has said no one can take this away from me. It's been a minute since I've felt truly happy for me. I'm glad I got to share my day with some of the people in my life.

And to you, thanks for the continued love and support. We may not have the white picket fence, but what we do have is still pretty special.

Today I Listened to.....................

2011-06-21T19:41:00.002-04:00

bday wish list

2011-06-20T16:10:00.002-04:00

this is off the top of my head...........................................

a blender so I can make some strawberry daiquiri's in time to watch Golden Girls
dinner involving ribs
curtains to block out the sun in the living room. But that would involve measuring the window
a baking sheet for my small oven
flip flops
pajama pants
summer clothing
job
winning the lotto
a get together
a partner in crime
cheese cake
pb and chocolate ice cream
shoulder rub, a better mattress, or more restful sleeps
wii game (fps, racing)
lan adapter for online playing

randomness

2011-06-10T10:35:00.002-04:00

I love slippers. I wear them all the time. If I visit you or go on vacation I will bring my slippers. My old pair {which I really should throw out} I use for after I shower. My routine is to put my foot on the edge of the tub, dry it with my towel and then put my foot in my slipper. I dislike the feel of carpet on my bare feet.
I'm tempted to cut off all my hair just so I don't have to look at the untreated mess that is currently my hair.
Why am I so excited that PLL is back next week?
If you jump off a building is it just assumed you are not afraid of heights? I wouldn't jump off my balcony since I'm afraid of heights. It's only 7 floors but it's still high enough.
I've been up before 6 all week. The plus side is that I've watched Roseanne everyday. It comes on at 6, in case you want to join me.
Boots got underneath the sheets with me this morning. It was cute. He had his little head sticking out.
I've requested a Stephen King and Margaret Atwood book. That's right I'm stepping outside my reading box. Any suggestions?
If I had grown up in the hood/ghetto as depicted in hip hop songs, I would be doing life in jail. Why? you ask. Because, the intensity in which I get mad would have resulted in me slicing opening someone as if they were a piece of meat.
Please don't ask if I took grad pics. Refer back to #2 for one the many reasons it's not happening.
I ran out of margarine and oil this week.
I'm all about the hot chocolate. It's a good alternative to air.
I'm extra restless. I find the t.v. and computer are just extensions of my boredom.
I've been watching the latest season of South Park. It only took me 15 seasons to start watching it weekly.
I feel a mix of I don't care anymore to I want to punch you in your fucking throat. Or in your pee pee as the kids like to call it.

I am...................

2011-06-09T19:39:00.002-04:00

.............not crazy, delusional, nor is it all in my head. My spider senses have been validated.

That is all.............for now.

You Know What

2011-06-06T14:00:00.002-04:00

Some days being unemployed, broke ass, frustrated (in more ways than one ;) is slightly tolerable.

I'll talk about my kRock trip in a bit.

Also, I just watched 30 minutes of xbox 360: The Future Revealed. Did I really need to know that Halo 4 is coming out in the Fall of 2012?

Oh so close

2011-05-31T00:02:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow I leave on a mini vaca. I'm looking forward to a few days away from these same walls that I look at everyday. All day. Plus, hanging out with SW is always fun and she enjoys talking about sex as much as I do ☺

This has been a good week. Different things occurred, but they all told me I have some cool people in my little bubble. One person I would say is someone I can more clearly see in a long term role. I'm sure things will change - this is life - but I'm hoping or rather like to think I am better equip to handle those changes. Even if it's not my dream change.

Edumication

2011-05-21T00:40:00.002-04:00

This week I learned that:

I truly do not like red delicious apples.
Watching Boots scope out the rotating fan is very entertaining.
I'm ready to start my seasonal drinking.
The food network is always the answer when you're looking for something to watch.
If I had an adapter for the wii online gaming I would probably sleep even less then I currently do.

Another Rainy Day

2011-05-16T23:10:00.002-04:00

Since I am broke to the power of 3, I walk to do my errands. Taking the bus pssss that's for rich people. So I am on my way home from the bank, jamming to Elephant Man (the song was Gangster Rock) waiting for the light to change when this guy comes up beside me and says hello. I give him the universal black person head nod. It's a bit hard to ignore someone when they are right in front of you. Anyways, he proceeds to tell me his name and asks my name, if I live around here and can we be friends. Obviously I said no and tired to ignore him. I thought that light was never going to change. I don't like strangers talking to me.

Have you ever done pilates? I downloaded a popular video this morning. I did the first 20 minutes and had to stop. My muscles were on fire and I was sweating hard. My goal is to do it 3x a week. I just hope I can still walk come Friday.

So Wrong

2011-05-10T18:16:00.002-04:00

It's sad and funny. Notice the guy who picks up the mic but does nothing else. *shaking head* Thanks to SW for showing this to me.

I miss BD ♥

FRINGE

2011-05-06T23:37:00.007-04:00

**STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE SEASON FINALE**

This show is the greatest. If your not watching it then go out and buy the DVD before season 4 starts in the fall. Run don't walk to the store.

Normally shows end in a to be continue, or they let you down after a build up of 12+ episodes. But Fringe did not let me down. It had me sitting on the edge of my chair looking at the clock during commercial breaks wondering how is this going to end, what will happen. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped when Olivia took a bullet between the eyes. I kept thinking, they can't kill off Olivia. Even though Walter is the one that started the break in each universe, I was still put off by him being in jail. He's brilliant and a big old happy stoner. Was jail really the best choice. Come on, for the most part he's a big kid with a thing for cardigan sweaters.

Like any good show the episode left me with questions.

If Peter wont be missed because he doesn't exist like the Observers stated then how could he have had a kid with fake Olivia?

Was Peter meant to die when Walter brought him over from the other side and they fell in the lake? They only survived because the Observer saved them. Plus didn't the Observer tell Walter at the time that he must save/protect Peter?

Since Peter managed to join the two universes, how will that work now? Two Walters, two Olivia's. Also Walternate didn't seem ready to lay down his weapons and give Walter a great big hug.

Where did Peter go?

Who ever thought that Joshua Jackson who played Pacy on Dawson's Creek would turn into such a great actor. I'm sure James Van Der Beek is somewhere crying in a corner.

I can't wait to see what happens for season 4.

Check This

2011-05-06T10:41:00.002-04:00

I finished school. I am a college graduate. I did it! I worked my ass off. I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and finishing.

Watching 1g5g has informed me about things I could have lived without knowing eg. the man with a pussy, and snow balling.

I've applied to a few jobs this week. Hopefully someone calls me soon. Sitting at home doing nothing is getting boring. So boring I've started watching mindless crap on the e! channel. Please help me.

I went out yesterday. That's right people I put pants on, combed my hair and went grocery shopping with Dunner. It was nice to interact with another person.

The Boy is on vacation so no nightly chit chats for two weeks :( BUT I'm glad he was able to go. He needed a break and I hope he's having an amazing time.

The U.S. got Osama. I understand he was a horrible person, BUT the way U.S. citizens are reacting to his death is a bit disturbing. People lined the streets and cheered as if their favourite sports team won the championship. This victory is great morale for the country and helps those who lost loved ones. I just think people need to remember his death does not mean there will be more threats to your country. Osama had many loyal servants willing to die for him. Another thing I find disturbing is that people want to see his picture. Really? This is not CSI, the man was shot in his head. I can only imagine how gruesome that picture would be. I don't want that on my evening news. And we all know "hot topics" will be repeated endlessly (eg royal wedding) until something new and shinny attracts our attention to something else. There was DNA testing. The man is dead.

Wedding Klingon Style

2011-04-29T18:35:00.002-04:00

A Knight comes in all forms

2011-04-28T17:17:00.005-04:00

My past is trying to invade my life. The life I have worked hard to make my own. To make it a happy and good life. I know I don't have to make up my mind right away. Plus The Boy has things under control.

Everyone deserves their own version of The Boy.

Good Morning

2011-04-10T11:23:00.005-04:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (Corinthians 13:4-8)

I've been up for about half an hour. Having a lazy Sunday morning, while listening to the rain.

I wish I could fast forward through the next two weeks. I have regular classes until Thursday, then Friday is my first exam. I'm never over confident when it comes to exams, but I do have two classes that I wonder if I will pass. I'm desperately hoping that I do. At this point I'm just tired of school. The travel time, the crazies, and the strength it takes to do it on a daily basis. Especially when my patience for people is at an all time low lately.

But I know I can and must carry on. That I must ignore that voice telling me to stay in bed and hide from the world. When I get to this point I always listen to the louder voice. The voice of my loved ones cheering me on and giving me that little kick to get out of bed and to finish what I've started.

SBF desperately seeking a backrub

2011-03-28T19:12:00.002-04:00

Feeling a bit off centre lately. I have a lot going on and it is draining me mentally and physically. Sleeping for over 8 hours is a definite sign of my body telling me it's time for a break.

I went to my friend's house and I had a great time. Lots of laughs. By the time I was ready to leave my brain had already shut off for the night. I guess that's what happens when you wake up at 5:30. This made looking up the bus schedule harder than it should have been. I'm sure people though I was high, since my eyes were so red and itchy. I was extremely happy when I walked through my door.

Life is shifting slowly. It has enabled me to see things from a different angle. Some views I like. Others are a disappointment. I'm no longer a child viewing everything through innocent eyes.

Damn You.............

2011-03-21T18:51:00.002-04:00

......... jury summons
..........the slacker in my group who has the nerve to talk about deadlines
..........Big Love and your lackluster ending
..........Rogers and your high prices
..........assignments and homework

Surprise!

2011-03-12T01:21:00.002-05:00

I loved my unexpected visit tonight. It was a nice way to start of the weekend. And it makes me feel special.

Thank You

2011-02-23T21:38:00.002-05:00

One more day then I'm off for a week. I can't wait to sit on my couch and do nothing. I just want to sleep, read, and sleep some more. Throw in some cuddling too.

Yesterday I was reminded of one of my flaws. I don't always talk when I need to, and I don't always ask for help when needed. I have the resources there but I don't use them. I really need to work on that. I'm lucky to have such caring people in my life. And to those who are making more of an effort, I have noticed and it is greatly appreciated.

:(

2011-02-22T17:34:00.003-05:00

I woke up today thinking, why do I even bother. I'm almost 31, and I'm down to my last pennies. I opened my mail and my EI t4 slip says when I do my taxes that I will have to repay some of the money back. Which I think is bullshit, since I have contributed to EI since I was 18. So really I like to look at it as I was just using the money I've been "saving" since I was 18.

I feel as if life is this leash around my neck, and every time I try to step outside my box, I get whiplash. I have this appointment which I am trying hard to not freak or stress about. But in the back of my mind I think if things come back as the worse possible positive, you are fucked. I love LOL, LMAO, and smiley faces. You can try to hide behind them, without totally looking like a dumb ass.

If I had orange juice I would be on my third screwdriver by now.

♥ Day

2011-02-14T19:16:00.002-05:00

I ♥ You

2011-02-13T19:10:00.002-05:00

Things that make a great weekend:

Dr. Seuss
Vodka
my girl SW
kisses that take my breathe away

Tomorrow is V Day. Whether or not you think it's a bunch of crap, stop and tell those you care about I love you or do something nice/special. And take a hard look at those in your life. They may not always be there.

Say Cheese!

2011-02-01T20:43:00.003-05:00

1) This is reason #568 why I never bought Boots a bed. Apparently chillin in the tub is fine with him.

2) Putting the phone in the charger upside down, is a good indication that you need some sleep. Especially when you only notice after you try to make a call and wonder why the battery is dead.

just what the doctor ordered

2011-01-25T18:10:00.002-05:00

After a long and tiring week (school and firing someone from my life team) a fun weekend was just what I needed. I had a great time at S&M's house. Stuffed my face on Middle Eastern food, played Mario Bros., and stuck to my no smoking. But I did get a little touched off of the second hand smoke. The shit smelled good too.

The Boy came over for dinner on Sunday. It's always nice to spend time with him. Even after 8+ years I still find it interesting how well he knows how to deal with me. I asked him if he thought about busting my bubble when I was first laid. His response was that he would ask me if I had been looking for a job. He knew that by asking me that it would stir feelings of guilt if I hadn't been looking. Which he was absolutely right about.

He's smart and gives wonderful massages.

School Daze

2011-01-12T20:36:00.002-05:00

I'm in my third day back at school, and already I feel like screaming or banging my head against the wall. This semester is going to be extremely hard and a lot of work on my part. I'm still trying to adjust to the early mornings and tiring days. Hopefully by Monday I'll have my routine tweaked so that I can get a few more minutes of sleep.

I wish I had a servant or a personal massage therapist.

Dating, Boys & Sex

2011-01-06T16:08:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning thinking about popsicles. I've been thinking about boys, sex, and dating. Now I understand this is the technological age, but have guys(some) forgotten that they can use their mouths for other than just eating, drinking, or sucking on a female body part or two. Do we lack the basic communication skills that our parents, and grandparents needed to find a mate and trick them into marriage. If you lack the ability or desire to write a complete, somewhat grammatically correct sentence to a person of the opposite sex, then why would anyone think hey you're a catch I bet your a great conversationalist. I would not be surprised to find two people across from each other at dinner and instead of talking they just text each other.

I know I'm hurting when I think I'll give lesbianism a try. The only issue is that the thought of eating pussy makes my stomach turn. I also know I'm hurting when my lovely cable provider starts playing porn again(they stop during the holidays) and I think to myself God, how I've missed you.

I'm off to the store to stock up on some chocolate popsicles.

Bath Time

2011-01-05T15:51:00.003-05:00

How did you spend your day?

Where's Ernie and his rubber ducky when you need him :-)

Minus 28

2011-01-04T13:26:00.004-05:00

Last night I watched I Used To Be Fat. To sum it up, it was about this 18-year-old girl who was over weight and decided to get a trainer to help her lose weight. Her motivation was that she wanted to start college, not being the fat girl. I found this show interesting because, she spent 111 days working out. No gimmicks, no cash prize at the end. She did it for herself. It made me think of my own weight lose this past year. Saying it wasn't easy would be an understatement. There were many days I just wanted to come home, eat my chips and call it a night. There are still days where I eat whatever I want. Which I know is fine. I am proud of myself for losing the weight, eating better, and exercising. I feel better, I look better, but most importantly I like me, and I'm doing it for me. I'm not sure what my ideal weight is, but for now I'll work on losing the next 20lbs.

I was talking to The Boy, and I was saying how there are things I want to do. I just don't like telling people. He had a good point. He said if you tell people then your accountable. Being accountable is hard. I think especially for me since, I'm a long time procrastinator, I don't acknowledge when things are going badly, and I live in my little bubble where everything is stupendous. My bubble is starting to crack since I have to stretch my money until I'm done school and get a job. Even the fact that I have four months left of school has me in a little panic. Will I pass all my classes, how long before I find a job, how long until I pay off the debt I've accumulated these past seven months, will life get better.

I am not a fan of waiting to see what happens. Hopefully it will we worth the wait.

Cheers to 2011

2011-01-03T23:16:00.002-05:00

This is the third day into the new year. I never do the resolution thing. I see no point. I'm constantly evaluating my life and the people in it. Why wait for a certain day to decide to do things. So far 2011 is treating me well. I'm still on vacation, and I had a conversation with one of my besties that gave me some hope that things will get better. As with the new year, I'll have to wait and see what happens.

Wish List

2010-12-16T04:37:00.003-05:00

small baking sheet
frying pans
slippers
sweaters
backpack
calendar
Portrait, Imitation, Divided by J.D. Robb (or any book from Salvation on)
Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris
The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman (the show is great. I figured why not start reading the books)

Do You See What I See

2010-12-14T20:17:00.002-05:00

When I left my house yesterday morning it was -12 and I being of sound mind and body was bundled up pretty good. Even had my thermal pants on under my jeans. Someone please explain to me why I continue to see people without a jacket, hat, and gloves. The kicker for me are the people I still see wearing shorts. That's right, I said shorts.
Just because you say please don't take offense does not make your comments any less ignorant or racist.
My patience for people has pretty much run out for the week. I know you must be thinking, you don't have much to begin with. Trust me when I say, my patience barometer is hovering on empty. Luckily for the other Walmart shoppers I didn't shove my shopping cart up someones ass. Which I really, really wanted to do.
I really could go with a massage and a rum and coke.
I feel a cold coming on. Thankfully I have my medicine cabinet stocked.

Happy Friday!

2010-12-03T06:04:00.002-05:00

These are a few songs from this weeks playlist:

Choo-Choo

2010-11-11T06:07:00.002-05:00

Riding the subway after 5 p.m. is not fun at all. Especially if there was a mechanical problem which causes a back log of people waiting on the platform. I bet people were sitting pretty on the GO while I was squished between a guy with his laptop out blaring every crappy artist on Cash Money and the amazon size woman. It could have been worse. I could have been standing beside the guy with the spit cup. NASTY!

Candy Corn

2010-10-31T23:41:00.000-04:00

*Knowing your limit
*Not everyone deserves the same amount of time or energy
*Asking how I feel about premarital sex is a conversation killer
*The Crazies wasn't as good as I thought it would be
*I see the signs but still on the hunt for this trail
*Wally World and Chapters is where you could find the potheads this weekend.
*Me saying I'm not married is not my way of saying I want you to talk to me.
*If this weather keeps up I may have to buy a coat sooner rather then later.
*Sister Wives makes me wonder how come some men can't sustain one adult relationship but this guy has four going at the same time.

Little Things

2010-10-12T13:47:00.002-04:00

being acknowledged for your help
waiting to cross the finish line so the other person can finish the race
a simple Happy Thanksgiving
asking how was your weekend
making an effort -2% is better then nothing
not everyone deserves a second chance

A New Month.....................

2010-10-04T18:54:00.003-04:00

................a new picture on my calendar.

I had a nice weekend. A lot more entertaining then I thought it would be. I laughed, I cried; and I wouldn't change any of it. It felt very therapeutic.

Things....................

2010-09-28T23:03:00.002-04:00

when people take up three bus seats. Does your jacket really need its own seat? You paid for one seat. Not three.
being asked at 6:00 a.m. if I would like a magazine to read. The magazine is The Watchtower.
Listening to my gut. Hopefully the word NO starts to sink in soon. Two strikes and your out.
BMO people are a little too pushy and aggressive.
My Prof calling me Monica.
I feel like my head is about to explode from all this homework and tests.
Turned down my fav chocolate Popsicle *sigh*.
I feel like all I do lately is laundry.
I need to get some Fall attire. Rockin' tee's and shivering is not cool. But I did sweat in my sleep last night, while wearing shorts and a tee. Figure that one out.
Do you know how to do a crosstab query? I do :-)

Junk

2010-08-31T21:19:00.003-04:00

I thought to myself today, I don't get any junk mail and I hardly get any personal mail. Instead of junk mail I got this instead from someone in my building. For some reason I don't think the quality of those DVDs will be high.

I've been trying to expand my little circle. How's that going you ask, well..........it's still going.

Have you been watching TB? Only one more episode left. The show is great, but they need to make the seasons longer. I have to wait until next summer for more of Pam's humour. Now that is some BS.

According to the Kotex box, some studies have shown that women do better on exams during their periods, due to increased estrogen levels. When I'm on my period all I care about are two things: chocolate and Tylenol. That is it.

Hug it Out

2010-08-17T22:36:00.004-04:00

Its not always easy being honest and letting the wall down. But sometimes you need a good cry to get it all out and a hug reminding you it will be okay. Things just take time.

Classic

2010-08-10T21:39:00.000-04:00

Booers

2010-07-27T17:32:00.000-04:00

1) Being called Monica
2) inconsiderate people
3) letdowns
4) no internet
5) being bored and haunted
6) one more month until a break
7) its still only Tuesday
8) grammar class

Bethren

2010-07-13T17:56:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFl7r2dUmTA

Do You Think

2010-07-05T20:42:00.002-04:00

I think a lot. I think about school and how I have finished the first module. I hope to improve and find that elusive money tree. I think about The Boy and how he still surprises me and cares.I think about my birthday and the things that my eyes are now open to. I think about my friends and how everyone is different. I think about what is next and wish I had a crystal ball.

Week One

2010-05-16T21:43:00.002-04:00

I made it through my first week of school. I was nervous, stressed, and had some lingering doubts about whether or not I am doing the right thing and can I do this. I feel 100% better about things. The nerves are gone, the stress is less and I have confidence that I am doing the right thing and that I can do this. I know I will have to work hard to meet my goal, and I know if I need any help my friends will be there for me. Even today Dunner helped me with some homework.

My life has changed from chillin' these past months to getting up early and making that 2 hour commute to school. I just have to stay focused and get through these next 12 months. And knowing that I have people supporting me and are proud of me gives me that extra push I need to get out of bed each morning.

Deo gratias

A Day

2010-04-28T17:42:00.002-04:00

Since I need to unload, and I don't consider talking to the cat at length is good for my mental state.............

I went and did my English and Arithmetic test today. I got sidetracked - or to be honest I wasn't listening to the subway stops being called out. All I know is that this morning I was thinking to myself Castle Frank! WTF what happen to Bloor. So I did my test, exchanged funds, and got sidetracked again aka I had no idea how I got from building A to building F.

On my journey home I got to thinking what is next for me. Reality still has yet to hit.

Needs

2010-04-18T22:03:00.001-04:00

It's nice to be able to get a hug when you need it.

A Change is Gonna Come

2010-04-05T09:26:00.002-04:00

G.I. Joe is no longer a recruit. KB & J Hunt are making the ball and chain legal, and Super Woman is counting the days until she can get her back tickled on a nightly basis. As for me, well I am working on my future plans and trying to not let disappointments knock me down. Not hearing those three words (and no it's not I love you) is stilling nagging at me.

And surprisingly Stoner Boy can be considerate and an adult. Who knew he had it in him.

Oh and a man in uniform is soooooooo HOT

Hey

2010-03-18T22:56:00.002-04:00

Just an ordinary day

Till you came around

I had my feet on the ground

So much for that

I'm Lovin It

2010-03-09T22:30:00.002-05:00

Avatar. I finally went and saw it today and I got a free popcorn and drink with my ticket
The sunshine
Getting my taxes done early
Honest and open conversations
Tandoori chicken
Feeling optimistic
Knowing that I am appreciated
Boots using me as his personal pillow

Hi Friend

2010-03-03T20:35:00.000-05:00

My two newest friends.

So...............

2010-03-01T12:14:00.002-05:00

One Hour Photo was on. Oh the memories. Yep I need a tissue.

Check it Out

2010-02-22T19:24:00.000-05:00

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood - Ralph Waldo Emerson

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

http://globe-radio.com/

http://www.bumpradio.com/nowplaying/playing.html

http://www.bigupradio.com/

He's no Mary but what do you think of this cover?

Mi Familia

2010-02-16T15:08:00.002-05:00

My friends are my family. Obviously most families are based on DNA. But I think my family is unique and special. They are my family, not because, of genetics but because, they are honest, loving, and caring people. The type of people you want to spend time with. The type who your glad is around for the triumphs and hardships. We may not always get along, or life gets in the way of seeing one another more often. But that does not change the fact that I love my family. I may not say the words, but I hope my actions show them that I do.

Valentine's Day

2010-02-08T20:32:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day is coming up. I will admit that I have been somewhat sucked into the hype over the years. I know a lot of people will say why do you need a Hallmark invented holiday to tell someone that you care. But maybe some people need a official day to remind them to do something nice for that special someone. Or even just to tell that person how much they mean to you.

I don't think I am so different than the next person who would enjoy getting a boutique of flowers, chocolate, a card; or whatever. We all like to feel loved and appreciated. I know I do. So to you all in the WWW; I beg of you get me some flowers. Hook a girl up would ya :-)

I Gotta Feeling

2010-02-07T16:49:00.002-05:00

I had a great week. It started last weekend going to Montreal. This week I got to see all of my friends and had some interesting conversations. Very eye opening. I hope this natural high continues.

"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn." -- C.S. Lewis

2010-01-25T18:53:00.002-05:00

Lucky #5

2010-01-21T17:54:00.002-05:00

The following is based on picking a number from 1 to 10; (I picked 5) and playing every 5th song and writing down the song title. Sometimes the song titles actually flow together. Super Woman and I took the song titles and added in words to make things fit as best as we could. I hope you enjoy. :-)

Wheat kings. Head like a hole, I'm lost in your eyes. Daylight comes, but it really don't matter. All I want, I just can't get enough. It's the middle of the road, I can give you nothing. Don't bother silent earth, it will drain you. Where are we runnin, them and us? The power of love makes you my angel until summer's end. Arc of a diver gives you adrenaline! Ask her to dance but don't cry for me Argentina because love is a sonnet and I'll be waiting for you to breakout of your heart shaped box. So don't stop. I'm on call so don't be afraid to bring da pain things can only get better. Cause I'm a rich woman, an L.A. woman. Straight from the book, you shook me straight to the 4th dimensional transition. I'm an evil woman. How do you know what I do?. One day the world won't stop. He's so shy, no matter what. Smokin the fiddlers green, sometimes I wish Amsterdam, the city with the fire on high, would carry me somewhere down the crazy river. So bring it on.

Wheat Kings - tragically hip
Head like a whole - nin
Lost in your eyes - Debbie Gibson
Daylight - Aesop Rock
It Really Don't Matter - Confidential
All I want - Offspring
Just can't get enough - Depeche Mode
Middle of the Road - the pretenders
Give You Nothing - Bad Religion
Bother - stonesour
Silent Earth - Mr. J. Mederios
Drain you - nirvana
Where are we runnin - Lenny kravitz
Them and Us - Bad Religion
The Power of Love - Frankie goes to Hollywood
Angel - Massive Attack
Summer's End -Foo Fighters
Arc of a diver - Steve winwood
Adrenaline! - the roots
Ask Her to Dance - Coconut Records
Don't Cry For Me Argentina - Madonna
Sonnet - The Verve
I'll be waiting - Lenny Kravitz
Breakout - Swing out Sister
Heart Shaped Box- Nirvana
Don't Stop - Fleetwood Mac
On Call - Kings of Leon
Bring Da Pain - Method Man
Things Can only get better - Howard Jones
Rich woman - Robert plant Allison kruess
L.A Woman - the doors
The Book-
You Shook Me - Jeff Beck
4th Dimensional Transition - mgmt
Evil woman - electric light orchestra
One Day - The verve
How Do You? - Radiohead
The World Won't Stop - Bad Religion
He's So Shy - Pointer Sisters
No Matter what - ti
Fiddlers Green - The Tragically Hip
Sometimes ( I wish) - city and colour
Amsterdam - Peter Bjorn and John
Fire on High - electric light orchestra
Somewhere Down the Crazy River- Robbie Robertson
Bring It On - N'dea Davenport

Oh No

2010-01-20T21:55:00.002-05:00

Some people should not be allowed to use a video camera or any sort of mechanism which will allow them to record their crazy antics to put it mildly. As a warning to future potential viewers please I beg of you do not view two girls one cup or cake farts. Both are utterly disgusting videos to view. I feel dirty. I will seek Him out come Sunday for some soul searching.

WOW

2010-01-12T11:07:00.003-05:00

No second thoughts, but it doesn't mean that it makes things any easier now.

Hmmmm

2009-12-15T15:47:00.001-05:00

It's funny how something happens that makes you change your mind or even doubt yourself. Where is a magic eight ball when you need one.

Thanks

2009-12-08T22:58:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it's the things that are said that make a world of difference.

Hold Up

2009-11-22T18:26:00.003-05:00

Sometimes words have more of a profound effect than actions. And sometimes they make you lose focus.

Love All.Trust a Few.Do Wrong to None - Shakespeare

2009-11-08T07:26:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I wish I knew more people.

I keep having this feeling that more things will change. Maybe I am over reacting, or I could just be crazy. Either is possible.

I would love to go somewhere. Just get on a train, and see/be some where different. Isn't change from the everyday good for the soul?

I am looking forward to Saturday. It's going to be so much fun. And Sunday is Cesar's birthday.

This is something that makes you stop and think.

Currently Reading: Mindscan by Robert J. Sawyer

Current Jam:working my way through 37 volumes of Strictly the Best. PULL UP!!!

Current Status: a little tired.

Currently

2009-10-25T15:51:00.004-04:00

Currently Reading: Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris & Rollback by Robert J. Sawyer

Currently Listening to: the Reasonable Doubts album by Jay Z (I wonder where this CD came from)

Current Mood: Good. A lot better then this morning. (Do other people see stars when they throw up?)

Boots(the cat): Is currently trying to eat a ladybug.

Current Thoughts: Do you ever feel good or happy when good things happen to good people? As if somehow their good fortunes have sprinkled on you as well. A second hand high maybe?

It's nice to know that my efforts in how I appear don't go unnoticed or under appreciated :-)

I Press Trigger, I Don't Press People Button

2009-10-06T17:44:00.000-04:00

I sat in the corner for 2 hours yesterday and did nothing and got paid for it. I feel a little guilty. But only a little.

Song of the week: With Every Heartbeat by Robyn

Currently reading: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

Current Mood: Meh

T.V.

2009-09-26T11:41:00.002-04:00

Have you seen any of the new shows? Thankfully the ROD channel has helped me watch shows that I would have missed. Plus I don't know how to tape anything without having the t.v. on. Do people even use a VCR anymore? So far I have watched the following shows:

Mercy
Cougar Town
Glee
Flash Forward
Accidentally on Purpose
Vampire Diaries

I wonder which ones will last.

It's Cool Like That

2009-09-21T16:19:00.003-04:00

Thinking about the past and trying to plan for the future.

Got a lot to say. Just don't know how to say it.

I want to be the opposite of lohan.

Did you know that t.v. on Saturday night sucks ass.

A change is gonna come. Can you feel it?

What ever happen to Nicole Wray?

Say What

2009-09-17T13:05:00.003-04:00

Have you ever known someone who continues to give you more reasons to care/like/love them?

Do you remember the The Cosby Show and the episode with Stevie Wonder?

Do you know I met KB when she was 15 and I was 17?

And that I'm over joyed she got out of her bad boy phase and is marrying a great guy?

Have you heard I Am Blessed by Mr.Vegas?

How about Open Your Eyes by Dwele?

Or Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys?

Congratulations

2009-09-13T09:18:00.002-04:00

I wish you guys all the best in this next stage of your relationship.

The Same

2009-09-09T20:19:00.003-04:00

I wrote some stuff but then I read it and I thought it was depressing. So I will depart by saying life is the same.

2009-08-29T11:30:00.002-04:00

I just came back from walking to the bank, and I must say even though I am tired I feel good. And sweaty.

I'm watching Big Daddy's House and I think the host is very energetic but clearly he's missed the memo about portions sizes. He must come from a house of big eaters. But he does get kudos for having his own style.

Have you seen the commercials for Halloween 2 by Rob Zombie? I saw the first one he did and I didn't' think it was that scary or good. I don't know what they did to Jason's mask but the commercials got me straight shook. I can't even watch it. I either changed the channel or cover my eyes if I can't find the remote in time.

I'm surprised that Michael Vick got a standing ovation. I thought he would have gotten more boos. There was such an up roar over him getting signed again. Personally I think if fans are accepting of players who are involved in crimes, domestic disputes, and all the other foolishness, then they should be accepting of Vick. You can't turn a blind eye to one and not the other. Obviously what Vick did was wrong, and he did serve his time. Why not give him another chance; and besides do the Eagle fans even really like McNabb.

To the Point

2009-08-23T12:51:00.003-04:00

Woke up this morning with a smile and happiness to match
Got a library card
I feel good
Still need a job and $
Today will be a relaxing day reading and watching crappy movies
I had a great sleep last night
Had a wonderful evening