just what the doctor ordered

After a long and tiring week (school and firing someone from my life team) a fun weekend was just what I needed. I had a great time at S&M's house. Stuffed my face on Middle Eastern food, played Mario Bros., and stuck to my no smoking. But I did get a little touched off of the second hand smoke. The shit smelled good too.

The Boy came over for dinner on Sunday. It's always nice to spend time with him. Even after 8+ years I still find it interesting how well he knows how to deal with me. I asked him if he thought about busting my bubble when I was first laid. His response was that he would ask me if I had been looking for a job. He knew that by asking me that it would stir feelings of guilt if I hadn't been looking. Which he was absolutely right about.

He's smart and gives wonderful massages.

School Daze

I'm in my third day back at school, and already I feel like screaming or banging my head against the wall. This semester is going to be extremely hard and a lot of work on my part. I'm still trying to adjust to the early mornings and tiring days. Hopefully by Monday I'll have my routine tweaked so that I can get a few more minutes of sleep.

I wish I had a servant or a personal massage therapist.

Dating, Boys & Sex

I woke up this morning thinking about popsicles. I've been thinking about boys, sex, and dating. Now I understand this is the technological age, but have guys(some) forgotten that they can use their mouths for other than just eating, drinking, or sucking on a female body part or two. Do we lack the basic communication skills that our parents, and grandparents needed to find a mate and trick them into marriage. If you lack the ability or desire to write a complete, somewhat grammatically correct sentence to a person of the opposite sex, then why would anyone think hey you're a catch I bet your a great conversationalist. I would not be surprised to find two people across from each other at dinner and instead of talking they just text each other.

I know I'm hurting when I think I'll give lesbianism a try. The only issue is that the thought of eating pussy makes my stomach turn. I also know I'm hurting when my lovely cable provider starts playing porn again(they stop during the holidays) and I think to myself God, how I've missed you.

I'm off to the store to stock up on some chocolate popsicles.

Bath Time

How did you spend your day?


Where's Ernie and his rubber ducky when you need him :-)

Minus 28

Last night I watched I Used To Be Fat. To sum it up, it was about this 18-year-old girl who was over weight and decided to get a trainer to help her lose weight. Her motivation was that she wanted to start college, not being the fat girl. I found this show interesting because, she spent 111 days working out. No gimmicks, no cash prize at the end. She did it for herself. It made me think of my own weight lose this past year. Saying it wasn't easy would be an understatement. There were many days I just wanted to come home, eat my chips and call it a night. There are still days where I eat whatever I want. Which I know is fine. I am proud of myself for losing the weight, eating better, and exercising. I feel better, I look better, but most importantly I like me, and I'm doing it for me. I'm not sure what my ideal weight is, but for now I'll work on losing the next 20lbs.

I was talking to The Boy, and I was saying how there are things I want to do. I just don't like telling people. He had a good point. He said if you tell people then your accountable. Being accountable is hard. I think especially for me since, I'm a long time procrastinator, I don't acknowledge when things are going badly, and I live in my little bubble where everything is stupendous. My bubble is starting to crack since I have to stretch my money until I'm done school and get a job. Even the fact that I have four months left of school has me in a little panic. Will I pass all my classes, how long before I find a job, how long until I pay off the debt I've accumulated these past seven months, will life get better.

I am not a fan of waiting to see what happens. Hopefully it will we worth the wait.

Cheers to 2011

This is the third day into the new year. I never do the resolution thing. I see no point. I'm constantly evaluating my life and the people in it. Why wait for a certain day to decide to do things. So far 2011 is treating me well. I'm still on vacation, and I had a conversation with one of my besties that gave me some hope that things will get better. As with the new year, I'll have to wait and see what happens.