Past, Present, Future

I've been thinking about the past a lot. Thinking about the choices I've made or didn't make, my up bringing. Basically things that have lead me to this point. There are very few things I would do differently. I've met some good people. Some were nightmares, while others were left behind for a variety of reasons.

I never had many goals when I was younger. Mine were to become a jockey (I watched The Black Stallion) or a baseball player ( even had my own glove). As a teenager my goals were to not be poor like my parents (obviously that hasn't worked out for me), become an alcoholic or marry one. I even thought marriage at 30 wouldn't be too bad. Except no one told me about the complexities of dating. It is hard to meet a non freak, normal, I won't blow up your phone type of guy. Maybe it's just me and what I'm attracting, and fine tuning my red alert sensors.

Presently, I'm facing the truth that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever; or even in the same context. Not sure if I've let go, given up, or just had enough.

The future is any one's guess. I may be here tomorrow, I may not be. I may move somewhere to start fresh, or somewhere that just isn't here.