Bored

I am sitting here on a Saturday night bored as hell. Well more like a combination of bored and lonely. Here it is, half past 12 and I'm thinking of calling someone. Calling who, you ask. I'll give you 3 guess, and the first 2 don't count. Don't worry I'm not going to. For one, it's late, and secondly I'm not even sure if were truly talking, or even if the call would be met with anything other than bad feelings and annoyance. So I think I'll just go and lay in my bed. That's my answer for when I don't know what to do with myself. Hope that sleep will come and suck up some time until tomorrow comes.

A/C

It looks like my wish has come true. I will be getting a remote control a/c in about a week. Isn't everyone so happy for me :)

I'm Feeling Hot Hot Hot

This weather is insane. How can it go from pouring down rain, to some mad ass heat in the same day. I don't know what has changed, but before I could handle the hot weather but now I can't. I'm even starting to hate the bus because they don't have any a/c and the bus is packed with people. I get so hot and bothered I get off the bus before my stop just so I can get some air. These past two days I have come home with sweat stains on the back of my shirt. I shouldn't be sweating that hard. Last time I checked slavery was over. I'm not Kunta Kante. Do you see me picking cotton. Me getting an a/c is looking better to me everyday.

On another matter, why do I always let the little things bother me. But then again I hate it when people lie to me. Doesn't everyone?

Apples & Peaches

I got that raise that I wanted, only it was at job #2. Apparently I'm going to have to be more specific when making my wants known on here.
I know I've said this often enough but my days are numbered there. I become physically sick when I'm there. No matter what I eat I'm sick afterwards, but then I am 100% better as soon as my ass leaves. Is it all in my head? Maybe so. I haven't worked a full shift for the past 3 weeks. Even today I left extra early and was out the door by 7.
Today made me think about all the characters I work with. There's the racist "lady" who in my opinion of all people should not be acting as if there hot shit. Especially when your broke, you work two jobs because your husband doesn't work, and if you don't hold out much hope of your kids finishing high school at all or even in the normal 4 yrs. Well then, maybe you shouldn't be talking about other races as if they are contaminating the earth, or even as if they were dropped from the sky by a space craft. Then there's the incredible hulk. He's the new kid, who has barely any neck room, a slowing growing arch in his back. The best part is that he never smiles or laughs, and the jacket looks like it's gonna rip any moment. I'm afraid if he ever does get mad, that the jacket will slowly rip to pieces, he'll turn green, and run threw a brick wall. There's the sarcastic, no kids, never been married, might be gay guy. Honestly he cracks me up. From the shit he eats. He's the only person I know who will go to Mandarin and only eat the beef, fruit and veggies the whole time he's there. When he buys chips, he buys the organic kind. That's right folks, no Doritos, or Lay for this man. It's all about some tasteless, purple coloured chips. Mmmm, mmmm, crap. Last, but not least there's the guy who acts like he's a horny teenage boy. Some people may think that adults over the age of lets say 50 have no idea how to use the internet, let a lone turn on a computer. Obviously they haven't met horny old man, because not only does he know how to use one, he uses it to pick up chicks. The first time he's ever flew was to go and meet this woman that he had been talking to online. He hooked up with this one chick, who was about 8-10 years younger than him, and almost got her pregnant. He was talking about how here period was late. What I wanna know is, are you not a grown ass man, should you not be more careful. Isn't that something a kid in high school would say. It's like a whole other universe, whenever I enter those doors. I swear I hear the theme song from the twilight zone start to play whenever I go there.

Can't Keep Running Away

Who or what are you running from in your life?

What's Next

It was so damn hot today, that I went straight to the store after work and bought a fan. I was at the point that I didn't care how much I spent as long as I came home with something. I might even get another one for the bedroom. After yesterday, I've had enough of just sitting and sweating like I just finished running a marathon.

Since I've had luck writing down on here what I want, I've decided to try again. I would like to eat better, go to the gym more often, get a raise and quit Apples & Peaches. I would like to be happy again. I would like to have more late night talks.

Why do I feel like this is break up part 2?

I Am

I Am:

• bored
• hot
• lonely
• sad
• anti-social
• in need of a break
• in want of a slushie
• in need of a some guidance
• in need of a hug
• hoping some one calls
• wondering where that love and happiness has gone to
  
• thinking about Him
  

Hump Wednesday

It's been six days and I'm starting to waiver. It's like I'm an addict and I've decided to go cold turkey. I get the shakes while I'm reaching for the phone. But I've managed to stop myself. This is what I wanted, what I needed. It's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.

I wonder if He misses anything. Does He miss me.

Changes

I've finally gotten my counter working. Thank God. Now if only I could figure out how to put pictures on the side of my page. It's all a learning progress. All in due time.

I've been trying to keep myself busy. So I've been spending some time fixing my place up. Trying to give it more of a personal touch. It looks good, if I do say so myself. Now all I need to do is figure out how to deflate my air mattress so I can get it out of my room.

For those of you who read my post Pee Pee, guess what. She's gone. They hired back the last lady who quit after four days. It makes me wanna write about other things I want to happen on here. Maybe more things that I wish for will happen. Am I being selfish, damn skippy. I'm going to have to think about what I want. Hmmmm.

So the other day at work, I got a little bit pissy with the manager. Well, lets be honest I got rude and talked back to him, because he was getting on my last nerve. I kept saying his name when he was shooting the shit with one of the girls I work with. He goes to me can't this wait until I am done talking. So I said no, because you just ignore me and I've been asking you for this price for like the last three days. Just tell me the price and I'll leave you alone. He gave me this look like he was going to say something, and in that moment I thought maybe I shouldn't have been so rude. But then again I didn't call him a fat bastard like I wanted to. But hey I know better, I'm not trying to get fired.

Ah Yeah

I've come to accept that things don't always work out the way you may like them to. I'm not very good at dealing with the harder aspects of my life. I deal by becoming snappy, being a girl and doing some shopping. Or the worst, and that is drink and blaze a lot more. I feel like I am truly alone now, and it sucks. Sometimes being an independent women is not all that it's cracked up to be. Even independent women need a hug and a shoulder to cry on sometimes.

Jams of the week in no particular order:

1. Cassie - Me and You
2. Chamillionaire - Riding Dirty
3. Toni Braxton - Let it flow
4. Tevin Campbell - Always in my heart
5. New Edition - Tender Roni
6. Cherish - Do it to it
7. Maxwell - Lifetime
8. Chingy - Pullin me back
9. LaToya Luckett - Torn
10.Tank - Maybe I deserve

Pee Pee

I got up this morning at the very last minute. It felt soooo good having some time off. So good that I didn't want to go to work this morning. Big surprise I know. As soon as I walked through the doors at work I said to myself, damn this place. Today went fairly well. The devil lady who sits beside me was off so it was nice and quite. It was like heaven on earth. She's one of those people who has no inside voice. You know that one you were taught when you were a child. Well apparently she missed out on that lesson, because this women is loud as hell. And the way she talks about her kids. Just wrong. She affectionately calls her youngest son the devil child. Now isn't that sweet.
We have this temp, who just flat out needs to go. She is getting on my last nerve, and I don't even sit beside her anymore. Today I had to fight the urge to just turn to her and say are you fucking stupid. She is the receptionist, and is suppose to keep her ass in her chair. Does she do this. Hell naw. I was on the phone with a customer, trying to answer his questions since everyone else had gone for the day, when I look up and she's heading for the door. I put the man on hold and ask her where is she going. She's was going to the bathroom. I was like you can't leave if I'm on the phone. Who's going to answer it when it rings. She thought I wasn't going to be long on my call. Now people, if I'm on the phone and no one else is around to answer the incoming calls, it doesn't matter how long I'm going to be on the phone because, I won't be able to answer any calls. How hard is that to understand. Simple logic would have told her to wait until I got off the phone then go about her business. I was so vex. All I wanted to do was cuss her ass out. Maybe even throw my stapler at her damn head. There's thousands of people unemployed and looking for a job, and they find her ass. And then there are the days when she give me the creeps. She's tried to give me a massage, accidentally touched my boob, rubs my back whenever she give me a message at my desk. Then there's the times she tells me I have a nice smile, purple is a nice colour on me, and pulling my hair back suits me. I ask you people, what kind of shit is that. I haven't said anything about the touchy feely shit because I'm trying to be nice. If I become straight up ignorant, then the gloves will come off and I will make her feel like shit. Trust me people I play dirty and hit below the belt when I'm mad. The HR lady used to invade my personal space. Flat out all up on my ass. It got to the point that I just snapped and said to her have you ever heard of personal space. You need to back up. You don't see me trying to sit in your lap, do you. Honest to God I don't know where they find these people. It sort of like as long as your willing to come back the next day they will keep you. They need to hire some normal people to balance out the ratio of nut jobs vs. normal people.

The Beach

Long Weekend

I was going to post some pictures, but it's not working so I'll try again later.

This has been a really good birthday weekend. The Boy came over on Friday, and as usual decided to mess with my head a little before busting out the presents. He spoiled me like crazy. He really knows how to make a girl feel special. Even the card got me a little misty eyed. Every once in a while he does something or says something that makes me think, oh that's why I still talk to him, and love his black ass. Thanks for everything again. I hope the good times continue.

My girl KB did it up big for me. We went bowling on Friday. I haven't been since I was in grade 9. It was so much fun. I even got a strike. I can't wait to go again. Me and J.Hunt ganged up on her to make sure I beat her. This girl can kick some ass, let me tell you.

Yesterday was the big day. My birthday. I didn't think I would be doing anything, so I went to bed the night before at like 5:30 in the morning. Which is why I was lost when KB called me at 9:30 to wish me a happy birthday. I ended up going to a beach in Milton, with her and the family. Oh and J.Hunt , can't forget him now. The beach was so much fun. The bbq, reading under the tree, and walking barefoot on the beach was great. I didn't go into the water since I do not swim, and drowning on my birthday wasn't in my plans for the day. It was a long but very relaxing day, with a lovely chocolate cake that J.Hunt ruined the surprise about. :) I think he was more excited about it than I was.

Thanks KB, J.Hunt and the Boy for a great weekend. You guys are the best.

26

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

I'll actually write something later after I get some sleep. Until then, bye bye bitches (can't wait for BB to start).