Slowly Going Crazy

I need to find a better way to spend my Friday nights. I would also like to have more of a choice, when it comes to who I may hangout with. Why do people call and hang up when my voice mail kicks in? Who wants to get drunk with me tomorrow? Come on, you know you can't resist.

Back to the boredom. HOLLA!!!

Another Day Another Struggle

I've been feeling a lot better lately. I don't feel as alone and shitty as before. I'm not 100% okay. But I do have less dark days. I'm not sure what has caused the tide to change. Maybe I've just been talking more about how I feel lately. With me you can never know.

Everyday there is some sort of struggle. I struggle to get more than 5 hours of sleep. I struggle to get up and go to work in the mornings. I struggle to curve my rudeness, and what I think is a slowly brewing jealousy. I struggle with wanting what I can't have. I struggle with wanting my own little family, but realizing that won't happen since I won't end up with my dream guy. I struggle with wanting to say I love you all the time. I struggle with finding what makes me happy, and finding my place in this world. I struggle with getting older, and having so many things that I would like to do.

And so the struggle continues.

You Got the White Stuff Baby

Life has been a little bit better. I've actually mustered up some energy and did my dishes. Now if only I could clean the rest of my place. I've been feeling really down for a while now. It wasn't anything in particular making me feel this way, it was a number of things. I'm still working on becoming a better person. A better friend. Trying to let all the hate and anger go, which will allow more Fridays to happen.

Easter is coming and I've decided to go to church. For whatever reason I've been wanting to go. Maybe I think it will help me some how. I'm a little scared though. I haven't been to church in a very long time, and new situations always make me nervous. As for the rest of my plans, I'm just hoping I don't feel too lonely. Do holidays ever get easier to deal with?

I went over of U.J.'s house Saturday and I ended up in a situation I never thought I would end up in. I know people make there own choices, but can I really ask that he behave a certain way, if I am to continue to come over.

Shout Outs
KB: I can't wait for you to come home. I'm actually counting the days. We should go to the bar Saturday night. Good luck on your exams. Here's a little food for thought. How can someone call themselves your friend when they pressure you to do something that is wrong???

The Boy: Try not to fix everyone else's problems and neglect yourself. As for the job situation, we don't always get what we want, but there's nothing wrong with hoping for the best. You'll find that one job that you will love and make you smile when you talk about it. Thanks for coming over Friday and being concerned about me. It's nice to know that you still care. 1-4-3


I think, I think too much. Don't you think??

Excuse Me, Question

1. Who remembers Bi Way?
2. Why haven't I bought ultra thins before?
3. Do ultra thins come minus the wings?
4. If you give a guy your number why does he think, your trying to get with him?
5. Why did my friend give my number to someone I don't even know?
6. Does buying Tang make me ghetto fabulous, or just ghetto?
7. Why haven't I bought Ne-Yo's cd, when I've been killing his song So Sick and Sexy Love?
   
8. Why am I feeling Paul Wall all of a sudden?
   

Random Pics

Punch Out

I don't know what to say anymore. All I wanted was for this week to end. Everyday was bad, and it just got worst as the week progressed. Having the lack luster social life, I went to bed at 9 last night. Just so I could hide from my issues. It doesn't really work since they are all still with me this morning. I just wanna say fuck it all and punch out.

See you next life time.