The Boy

As some of you might know that me and the Boy have had a turbulent post break up year. I can't believe I've been single for almost a year now. I still find it weird and hesitate when people ask if I am single. Sometimes I feel like I'll never truly let go of the past. I've tried not talking to him and just taking time to figure things out. Taking time to accept our new "friendship". All of this made me push him away. To put back up that wall, you could say. After two months of not seeing each other we finally decided to get together. It was nice seeing him again and chilling at my place, just watching t.v. and acting a fool. I've missed that. I hope we can have more fun times.

It's still hard to find time to hang out. He has his life, and I have mine now. I'm trying to go with the flow, but I still think about what happen last time. The love triangle between me, him, and the crazy chick. The problem with that was I was unaware I was in a triangle. I may not bring it up, but it still hurts. It still burns me. No one likes to be lied to there face. Or feel like they have been used. I put my feelings aside to help him. To listen to him talk about crazy girl. Sometimes I wonder why, I did that. I feel like, I'm nice and try to be considerate of his feelings, but the next person who will shit on him. Gets treated better than me. They get more of an effort out of him to fix things. To make things better. While I sit at home and wonder how I've gotten to this place, where I think I'll never get married and have 2.5 kids. But then again reality and perception are two different things. Is it not??

To my faithful readers, write a damn comment. Would it kill ya to. Huh????