HAPPY HALLOWEEN

It's the last of the month and day light savings. But I still didn't want to get up this morning. I have too many things to do today. Why can't I have a personal assistant like Victoria Gotti(I love Growing Up Gotti).

I made it through my first week of work. The days went by fast but the week took for ever to end. I still work at my other job on the weekends. It was weird going in there and seeing how everything has changed in just a week. Ah good old A&P. Last night I was talking to the girl in the floral and she was saying how she heard I have a full time job, so I asked her who told her. It was my former best friend. What I don't get is if we don't talk then why is she telling other people about my new job as if we talk. People change, friendships evolve or end. I just don't like her talking to other people about me as if were still tight.

Where Is The Love?

Today was my second day at my new job. I think I'm doing okay, but there's so much stuff I have to remember and the long bus ride is starting to take it's toll on me. This being my first "real" job you would think I would be getting more support, more love from the fam then I have been. You would also think I would know by now not to get my hopes up or expect anything, but I guess it's human nature to seek that approval, that pat on the back from even those you know in the back of your mind will just let you down. Maybe that's why I'm looking forward to the day when I'll be able to go home and have that one person who will ask how my day went and actually want to hear what I have to say. Maybe they will even be nice and wash the dishes for me. Maybe that's why I was so touched when the Boy asked me how my first day was. It just made everything better for me at that moment.

What brought you happiness today?

The Freaks Come Out At Night

I went out to dinner with the fam last night. If I had a choice in the matter, I would have stayed home or gone out somewhere else. But since I was out voted by 2-1, we all went to the Outback Steakhouse at 410 & 7. The food was good, but the service left room for improvement. For most of the dinner the questions were focused on me. Why don't you join a gym, you should be more active, what are you doing for x-mas, and so on and so on. The real fun didn't come until the bus ride home, when this lady tried to pull a fast one on the driver by using a 1B transfer to get on the 1B. The bus was stopped and the lady started yelling about I'm not a thief in her thick Somalian accent. This one guy got up and got in her face telling her to get off the fucking bus. Which was basically the whole vibe of the bus. She's lucky this is Canada, because if it was back a yard like the man was saying he would have just dashed her off the bus. What happened to the nice peaceful Brampton that I once knew.

Letting It All Out

I want this week to be done. I've been feeling down lately and sleeping or reading my evenings away. I had a nice 5 hour nap yesterday and I still ended up being late for work today. Maybe I should think about taking some vitamins.

I had a revealing conversation with the Boy last night. I'm glad that he decided to share some of his apprehensions with me. I realized he had some of the same ones as me and had one's I never thought of. I hope everything works out for the best and that the move doesn't hinder our relationship. I was telling my friend today about the move and she was like; oh you guys must be really serious then. I thought about what she said, and I'm sort of puzzled why I don't see the seriousness of moving in or maybe because I know it will only be until the Boy is done the school year. I think her relationship is serious, her being engaged and pregnant and going out with her finance for less then 2 yrs. Now that's serious. I just hope that after some time the Boy will feel better about things and that he won't regret agreeing to this. I guess only time will tell.

Rain Rain Go Away

I am neither here nor there. I am in the middle of changing my life. But these changes won't start to begin until next week. Until then I am in limbo.

Yesterday I went and saw the Boy's homecoming game. It was fun, cold, wet and intense at the end of the game. I had lots of fun. And as always it was great getting to see and talk to the Boy face to face. I use to wonder how couple's can spend time together everyday and not want to shoot each other; but I get it now. If you love that person, enjoy there company and can see yourself growing old with that person, you would want to spend all your time with them.

Does anyone else Pogo?

If You Look @ My Life You'll See What I See

Wow it's been awhile. But in my life awhile is a long time. I've finally reached my breaking point. The point where something has got to give so that I can stay sane and not drink away my pain. I've decided to move out of this place that strongly resembles a prison. I'm having conflicting emotions though. Should I give the warden notice of my up coming parole, let's say a month notice or maybe two weeks especially since she got under my skin again today. I know no one can truly answer that for me, just maybe give there own opinions, but it's still hard for me. In the end I can only do what's best for me and live my own life the way I see fit.

Wish me luck on my job interview tomorrow.